Breathless
This post was written by Megan and originally published on her blog Somewhat Voluble.
There was a time in my life when I wanted to do nothing but write. And so I did. I wrote until the ink emptied from my pen or until my eyes burned from staring at the computer screen for hours. It wasn’t necessarily by choice either. I wrote because I had to. I had to feel my words flood from whatever existed beneath the dark curls upon my head. Writing became my oxygen. Writing frivolously, I was able to write about my biggest fears or goals or what I expected to happen next. And then it stopped.
I don’t know exactly what happened. Maybe it was when life took over; I began to lose track of my fingertips. My ability to write beautiful words vanished, and I felt as if an important part of me had been ripped away, yet I could not gain it back. The world continued to tick by, slowly, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. My breathing became steadier, unlike when I wrote. When I wrote, I felt as if I couldn’t type quick enough to catch the spilling words. I became so unnervingly normal. I became silent. Mute. Another face in the crowd.
It’s almost as if I’ve been asleep since that moment in time. I’ve been flowing through a never-ending nightmare where words continue to drown. And now here I am. Awake. Shaken from what could have been the end. There is a chance for change; a chance for renewal. Maybe this is the beginning. Maybe this is just another hopeless attempt. However, I am ready. I’m ready to catch my breath. I am ready to have my words back.
What do you do when you just can’t write? How do you inspire yourself?
March 26th, 2009 at 5:18 am
I read the diaries from when I was 14 and they are so beautifull. My words just flow out of my head without asking permission. Everything is in place and its so meanfull and touching, beautiful. Now its so hard to go back to that “pure” state again…. I go and walk in an area I love with lots of tree, I hear some inspiring music and then I seat anywhere and start writing. Even if its not as great as I want it to be once I get my fingers caressing the keyboard its easier to transport myself to my “happy place”, I know that I’ve arrived because everything becomes descriptable, every detail in my conscience; becomes mine again.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:10 am
Music definitely inspires me. I listen to Sigur Ros when I need inspiration.
March 26th, 2009 at 5:39 am
I think it’s something to do with the distractions of being that little bit older and having other responsibilities that cloud your once uninterrupted thoughts (not to sound too pretentious).
From writing my first story in school at about the age of 8 until going to University at 19 I wrote on a regular basis. I still love writing and when I have something to say it comes easily but otherwise- nothing. Inspiration just has to hit me and writing can’t be coaxed out of me no matter what I try.
I don’t mind that though, it makes me enjoy the process of writing more because it has become a delicacy to enjoy on those special occasions.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:09 am
I agree; as you get older, it’s hard to write with the distractions. Plus, the imagination fades slightly…
March 26th, 2009 at 6:05 am
If I need inspiration I will take a few days away from the blog and my journals. Amazingly the moment I decide to take a break the ideas flow non-stop.
If I’m trying to only post on my blog I’ll dig through some memories that I feel comfortable sharing or create lists or share some sort of meme with people. Not exactly exciting but it keeps the readers coming back and satisifies my urge to write.
Agreed that it’s harder to write when we all have many distractions. Certainly takes one’s ideas/energy away at times.
March 26th, 2009 at 6:27 am
This was beautiful, and I could totally relate. There were times when I’ve felt like I’ve lost something in my writing, and then there are other moments where I felt as if a new writing soul has been given to me by the deities of script. These days the latter is nonexistent, and the former is taking place.
March 26th, 2009 at 9:05 am
I completely relate to this post. The best writing I’ve ever done has felt like it’s just flowed out of me, like I’m an agent of something larger than myself. Lately I’m at a loss for inspiration and it’s extremely frustrating.
March 26th, 2009 at 9:21 am
It’s always easy to write about one’s feelings. It helps one to vent and avoid explosion. Sometime it’s good. Sometimes it’s bad. I just wish I can write more than just my feelings. I wish I could just start to write and write a novel from start to finish.
March 26th, 2009 at 11:09 am
Oh, me too!
March 26th, 2009 at 9:32 am
I too completely relate to this post. I became very estranged from writing during the last few years. Maybe it was because I got too busy, maybe writing papers for college made it seem like a chore. I don’t know what it was, but it definitely all went away.
Thankfully inspiration has been coming back lately and at least in the form of journaling, I’ve been writing again. Inspiration is a tricky thing though. I mean, when it doesn’t come it’s hard to force. It seems like forced inspiration isn’t as effective as just suddenly feeling it. That said, I find that taking a walk realy clears my head and helps out. Also I suppose art can often inpire new art. Listen to music or look at images for inspiration. Maybe just peruse flickr on random until something pops out at you.
March 26th, 2009 at 10:46 am
If I’m working on an assignment or something that NEEDS to be done I just force myself to write, it’s usually not my best writing but I just need to get the words out there and then i can go back and fix it. When I’m writing for my blog and I don’t have a topic in mind I just force myself to start typing and before I know it I’ve usually rambled on for 500+ words! I just have to force myself to write and if I sit there long enough, it comes.
March 26th, 2009 at 11:22 am
I think every writer suffers the ebbs and flows, the bursts of inspiration and the bleak dry spells. That’s why writing is a “craft,” an art. But, we must come back, always, and keep trying, yes?
The days when I least want to write are the days I force myself to the page—like going to the gym or tackling that long-delayed project. Just begin, anywhere. (Start with an imaginary conversation to practice dialogue. Choose a person in the room and create a fantastic backstory to who he/she is. Describe a memory, even if it’s not entirely accurate.) Most of what I leave on that page is garbage. But, sometimes, a sparkly kernel of a good idea emerges.
March 26th, 2009 at 11:30 am
Lately, I’ve found SO MUCH inspiration in other writers, artists, and bloggers and in music and lyrics. I’m in a weird fun place of self-discovery right now and it’s like everything I read strikes a chord that I have to turn around and write about once I’ve interpreted it and made it personal. Other times in my life when I’m stuck? I try something new – a hobby, a restaurant, a recipe. And write about that. Sometimes, just the motion of getting it out puts me where I need to be to remember my own creativity
March 26th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I really like this post. Very good writing! I loved it.
Um, what makes me write.. I get inspired with stupid little things, that don’t really make sense to anyone, and somehow I can turn it into a story or post. Somedays I write and write, and other days I’m like “ehhh.. can’t think of ANYTHING to say”
March 27th, 2009 at 6:36 am
I relate to this post in so many ways – i reread those old notebooks filled to the brim with stories and poetry and I wonder what happened – where did that creativity and eagerness go?
thanks for sharing