Limits of Sharing
This post was written by Elizabeth from Bros Before Hos.
First and foremost, Happy Saint Patrick’s Day from a full blooded Irish girl. Now, onto business…
Typically on my blog, Bros Before Hos, I write witty anecdotes about living in San Francisco, pretending to study for classes I don’t care about, my horrific attempts at dating, drinking too much, and the hilarity that ensues. Recently however, I decided to get more serious and write about being diagnosed with clinical depression and subsequent medication.
I debated with myself about whether or not to write about my crazy pills on BB4H but I have noticed in the time that I have been writing my thoughts online that I’m kind of an over-sharer. I figured since I had already written about cashing in my V-Card and accidentally falling in love with my best friend’s brother that this topic would not be off limits. Finally getting help for a problem that has been plaguing me for years was a significant moment in my life and I didn’t want it to be pushed under the rug. Equally important is that I wanted people to feel sorry for me and read BB4H more often. Just kidding! But seriously.
Some topics, however, are off limits. For example, I am more than willing to share the crazy in my head, but less than willing to share about the crazy going on outside of it. I don’t write about tiffs with my roommates or any other friends. If I’m going to write about a personal friend, then it’s going to be positive or at least incredibly funny so they won’t be mad. I also refrain from writing anything about work except that I’m writing while there and I very, very rarely write about my family unless I’m praising my mother and father.
I try and keep in mind that my blog is no longer anonymous. Personal friends of mine and even some of my family stop by to see what I’m up to. Though sometimes I miss the freedom that anonymity provided me with, I do not write anything that I wouldn’t be willing to discuss person to person. My depression is something that I’m struggling with and if I skipped over this huge part of my life, my writing would not be as strong. It’s also very therapeutic to be able to write about it and get feedback from readers, either in the form of support or because they, too, are living with depression. Honesty, I’ve always felt, is the best policy. Much like drinking, drunk texting, and fighting with your friends, however, there are limits to what I’ll write. What are yours?
March 17th, 2009 at 3:32 am
If my husband and I have an argument (we don’t have many…yet), I try to keep those away from my blog. I try not to talk about him in too much detail for his own privacy (aside from the good things). I also don’t talk much about my family that is living; I don’t want them to be offended if they find my blog.
March 17th, 2009 at 5:26 am
I have to completely agree with you and Megan. I avoid writing about personal friends, family and my boyfriend (unless it’s in a positive light). I have made my blog public through facebook, twitter etc. and so I know that friends and family occasionally read it. Plus, usually when I’m fighting with my boyfriend I’m FUMING so I don’t want to go spout off on my blog about what a jerk he is only to make up with him immediately after and be writing about what a great guy he is the next day!
What a great topic for today, a very thought-provoking post!
March 17th, 2009 at 7:11 am
Fascinating level of disclosure.
March 17th, 2009 at 7:34 am
I sort of do the same but on the fence at the same time. I keep certian topics private, like the personal struggles in my life whether it be our marriage, financial, or arguments. However, I do put some more in there because my family and friends read it on occasion. I live 1200 miles from them and this is the only place that they can really see what I’m up to, thinking, dealing with, etc. So for them, they get to see inside my world.
I don’t bash anyone on there, because I don’t really do that in real life. Except this one time when I had an issue with a sort of friend (we were just starting to become friends) doing a whole high school he said she said thing. It helped me by venting about it and getting the response.
March 17th, 2009 at 7:36 am
Since day 1, my blog has been public to my friends. It usually entails stories that I retell that my friends & I shared. As geeky as I am, I seem to have quite entertaining stories.
However, when it comes to the deep down personal stuff, it’s hard to share. When my Ex broke up with me, I could not write about it. It was hard. Also, because of work, I also censor myself on certain stories of thoughts of angst that bother me. It’s frustrating, but it’s probably for the better. Why write about it when you can actually talk to someone about it.
March 17th, 2009 at 7:40 am
Because I have two blogs, they have varying levels of disclosure. One blog is simply used for writing (mainly for responding to this)and because it remains annonymous I can be open there.
My other blog isn’t annonymous. Family and friends of varying levels check in there. As a result that blog is much more protective of my life. I wouldn’t want to talk about people who read it obviously, but also I don’t talk very much about my internal issues because they’re not all close friends. Some are just people I see on occasion. If I wouldn’t be that open with them in person, I find it a little hard to just be available to them online. For example, the letter to myself from last week? Not for that crowd.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:23 am
Overall, I don’t write about very serious things on my blog. I did, however, recently share a similar story about my battles with depression and anxiety. For some reason, it felt natural to share that with people.
March 17th, 2009 at 8:33 am
On my blog I write whatever pops into my head, myspace stalkers, nightmares and this confusing “I Feel lost” feeling. I too tend to over share, and my friends and family have started to drop by to see what’s what, but I hate it. You my ex-boyfriend suggested blogging as a coping mechanism to my tendency to repress, suppress and push problems away. Since I was twelve I’ve had this duel personality. Happy for my loved ones and broken and hurt while alone. I write everything down and confide in my canvas instead of people. The only reason I’m sharing this is because you were brave enough to share, I’ve found that when people hear depression, they you are crazy. Then shy away from you, but what they don’t get it that more people are dealing with depression that they could ever realize. I believe that going through rough patches makes us better people, and I hope to God better writers. Thanks for sharing!
March 17th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
I share pretty openly, and every once in a while I’ll feel a sudden panic at the thought of people I know in real life coming across my blog. But, I continue on anyway, because I need to write for myself.
March 18th, 2009 at 5:20 am
There are many aspects of my life that I do not share with the internet world. I think the biggest one might be family history and my present situation. In a general sense, my family life was far from normal growing up. I thought that despite my parent’s divorce, the world was good. Last year that view was shattered and while I talk about the subject with people I know and love, the folks on the internet are not apart of that. Honestly I feel like that part of my life does not belong on the internet.
What I do share are the emotions, for the most part. If I have something to do with my family I’ll say that I’m bummed or frustrated, but won’t fully divulge. I try to be positive most of the time, but one of my goals lately has been to not be afraid of my emotions.
None of the people in real life know about my little blog. If they did I think then it would lose it’s purpose.